January 18, 2022

vow

when i close my eyes
i see you in the darkness
how the muscles
gently shift your skin
when you try not to smile
how your hair
grabs hold of everything
with any subtle movement

i see your joy
when i arrive with flowers
and your contentment
when we have an evening ahead
with nothing but time to talk
i see your excitement
as we’re planning a trip
to the city or the country
or anywhere in between
and i see you fidget
when you’ve been sitting still
for far too long

at times i see your sadness
when the loneliness creeps in
or the ones you love
aren’t so loving in return
and i see your strength
in consistency and discipline
in each step forward
when you’re overwhelmed with grief

when i close my eyes
i am drowned in gratitude
for having you by my side
the most beautiful woman
i’ve ever known
i am always afraid i’m dreaming
in awe that we found each other
at the right moment
in the perfect light

i constantly think
of our first conversation
with such amazement
feeling the connection
we stumbled upon
and work so hard
each day to build

when i close my eyes
and confront the me no one else can see
i have a clean conscience
inside, i am an infinite well of love
and there is no one but you
i will allow in

enter through the back gate
near the garden with the winter greens

there, we choose each other
a knee to the ground
will you have me?
a ring on your finger
and whispers of forever

everyone is paused
expecting answers
when answers are all we’re missing
their eyes follow us
eerie paintings in the hall

i’ll grab the cloak
you grab the dagger
run with me
into the receding tide
only when we’re alone
do the answers find us
gliding on the currents
bubbling up from the deep
swelling our lungs
until the words emerge

i do”

but they’re seen
more than spoken
felt more than heard

we are authors at the typewriter
our story, still arcing

when we close our eyes
we see each other in the darkness


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